Another Day, Another Fill

I got another fill today - only 60 ccs this time.  I go back in two weeks for my final fill.  WHOO HOO !

Then the wait ! You need to have two months to heal before you swap out.     My swap out surgery is scheduled for Dec 17th !   Merry Christmas to me.

The results are looking great and I am pleased.  I take that back ..............the results ARE AWESOME....I love them...my scars are almost gone and I am perky and round.  Sorry if I am bragging, but hey I deserve these after all I went thru !

For those of you who do not know what a fill is (TMI ALERT) - it is when they inject my expanders aka  temp boobs with saline.  This is not for the weak of heart, the needle is LARGE  and it looks like a mini plunger....but the thing is - you feel a small stick, then nothing....until hours later when your muscles go into a spasm.  Sort of like a hard work  out at the gym that hits you the next day.   But it only lasts for a day or two.

Right now I am trying my best to sleep on my back (I am side sleeper) - because when I sleep on my side the expander edge digs in and it really hurts the next day.  Yes expanders hurt ...they are hard as rocks...but this will all change when I swap out in Dec.  But I am loving the results and that is what counts.

I am starting to think about work again....and what I want to do.
I will ponder that and get back to you.

Call me Dolly

I got another fill and this one hurt like hell......can you say stretch !
But the pain went away and my results look great so far.  I am so glad I decided to do this even if this recon is not for sissys !

What have I been doing ?   A little of this and a little of that....trying to power walk every day for 30-45 minutes weather permitting and doing things around the house that I have put off for the last 18 years. 

My sweet hubby went back overseas for work and I miss him so much.  He really was a great support for me this last month.   I have been driving his jeep while he is gone - and really enjoying it (sorry hun).  I hope to update my blog more while he is gone.


I also found a great recipe for  bread - yum...I have never been a baker before - so this was a surprise to me that it turned out to be delish and tonight I am cooking dinner for my SIL Judy who is going through a rough time.

AND

Please continue to keep my brother Brian in your prayers

I try to call him every few days -I found this online and thought it may be helpful for some of my readers

What to say to some one who is ill or in pain:

When people we care about are in pain, we want to offer words of encouragement, help ease their pain and motivate them to stay hopeful.

Unfortunately, our words of cheer can often be misinterpreted by those who live with chronic illness. Rather than feeling supported, our words can evoke the feeling of "she doesn't understand my life at all." This can permanently affect our relationships.

Here are some tips to keep in mind when talking to a friend living with an invisible illness.

 

What not to say:

You look so good!

Although this seems like a compliment, it's frustrating to an ill person. Although he or she may wish to look better than they feel, it seems as though you are saying, "You can't really be sick. You look fine to me." It invalidates a person's pain and symptoms.

You need to just stop thinking about it and get busy.

True chronic illness doesn't heal itself because of distraction. Although some people may dwell on the details of their illness, it can seem emotionally overwhelming when your life revolves around new symptoms, medication side effects, infections from a lowered immune system and the illness itself. He or she would likely love to do something fun, but fatigue and pain prevent it.

 

You should try this new health supplement. It can't hurt.

Actually, the supplement may be the exact opposite of what our body needs, and "natural" doesn't always mean "safe." People have good intentions, but the chronically ill are doing their best to navigate the road of Western medicine, alternative treatments and finding the best medical team.

I wish I had the luxury of being sick instead of having to go to work every day.

Most people want to be able to work, and being physically unable to do so can cause great depression. Those with illness realize they don't have the burden of getting up and going to work each day, but they also have medical bills that they may never be able to pay off, as well as fears of not being able to support themselves.

They don't have as much free time as you think. The medical appointments, pain and paperwork take a large portion of time.

Don't give in. You need to fight this illness.

Those who are ill are fighting their illness every day they wake up and get our of bed. And on the days they can't get out of bed, they are determined to still have a life that is full of joys and memories, special events and loved ones. By taking medication or trying a new therapy, they are not "giving in."

Illness is caused by stress. You just need to learn to cope better.

While illness can be exaggerated by stress, stress rarely is the source of the genetics that cause illness. Those living with an illness are doing the very best they can to cope, but comments like the ones above make them, well, stressed.

Here are some ideas on what to say:

I don't know what to say, but I care about you.

You don't have to try to fix it, and instead of saying, "I know exactly how you feel," an ill person would love it if you would just admit, "I don't have any idea what you are going through, but I am here if you need to vent."

Sometimes we just need one person who will listen and then we can move on to other topics.

If you need to cry, I've got plenty of tissues.

Every now and then we just need a good cry. Between the emotions certain medications cause, plus the stress on our marriages, careers and more, we occasionally need to cry.

Instead of being one more person who says, "Don't cry," tell your friend you will sit with her while she cries. It is an intimate gift that only true friends will offer.

I'm bringing dinner Thursday. Can you eat lasagna or chicken?

People who are chronically ill rarely have anyone bring them a meal or take their kids for a play date. Since moms and dads with illness do their best to keep up with life, they are seen out and about and they "look just fine." But you may never know how much they suffer silently in their home.

A meal for the family or babysitting the kids so parents can have a date night is a great way to provide support.

I am going to the store tomorrow. What can I get for you?

If you are running some errands, let your friend know in advance so he or she can write a short list. Being able to pick up heavy things can also be helpful, like a gallon of milk or laundry detergent. Bring them into the house and ask if you can put them away.

You are going through so much, yet you still have such joy. How do you do that?

If you see a friend who is coping well with his or her physical limitations, ask yourself what you could learn.

Rather than saying, "Thank goodness that isn't me; I could never do that," ask them what motivates them when they are in pain, or how they prioritize to make the most of limited energy. Where do they find hope when the circumstances look bleak?

Those who live with illness learn a lot about the ups and down in life and would love the opportunity to share the wisdom they have discovered.

 

 

I am getting there !

Went in for my first office fill today.  Whooo hoooo....

I have to admit I was worried - I think I have been reading to much info on the internet about how painfull this is...

The doc gave me 100cc fill...I did not feel the needle and the fill made my back hurt some ...but I am growing....the results look great.  I am very relieved.  Right now I have WONDER  boobs...hard as rocks !
They will soften out with time and when I do the implant exchange later this year.

I think I will go to Vinny in NOLA to get my tats as well   (google Vinny 3D  breast tattos)

Pain is relevant to me now.

Anyway my hubby made an observation that I need to share.   For years he has been begging me to get my ears pierced ..I have a pair of diamond earing wating for me if I do this....... and I always put it off.....I know how much it hurts and the healing.  He said with all you have had to go thru in the last year I find it funny you are afraid to get your ears pierced.

Needles dont scare me unless they are going in my ear lobes. (shudder)

What I am doing !

Most of my work friends ask me what I have been doing with my time.  When I am not going to doctor apointments this is a list of what I have done:

Clean and rearrange my large butlers pantry - a two day job - it looks amazing now btw.
Clean on various kitchen cabinets
Clean my guest room/move furniture - change linens...ready for company !
Clean (really clean) Gracies room and bathroom
Shop with my daughter for school stuff
Clean out my closet/drawers
Clean my living room and dining room
Buy new lamp and door matt - this took all day as I like to look for just the right piece
Brought various items to goodwill - ongoing
Made homemade dog treats for Trixie !
Send all my wigs/scarves/hats to a friend and Miles Perrett Cancer center


Things still on my to do list:
Refinish Desk ***** this is high on my list but I am waiting till it gets cool so I can do it in the garage)
Clean on linen closet
Clean out a few drawers in kitchen
Clean out garage and outside storage (will wait till it gets cooler)
Clean out front flower beds - I may pay some one to finish this. To hot and to many wasps and biting bugs.
Clean out chest with all my parents photos/paperwork - mail to various siblings and relatives.
Throw out old pots and dried up plants in the back of my house.
Clean Allens office - I think I need an atomic bomb for this

Of course I have been having fun with Gracie and enjoying time with her that I never had before...what a blessing that has been.

 Allen has been on days off for four weeks, so it has been nice to hang out with him.  We never had that relaxing kind of time before...and it has been nice.   We have done quite a bit of cooking...so my freezer is full to the brim.  He is leaving in a few more weeks so I will time to get some more things done.  But I will really miss him as I have gotten used to having breakfest and not having to rush off to work.  It is the little things for sure.

Medically - I feel better every day - I have to be careful not to overdo as my chest muscles will pay for it...looking forward to a 2nd fill on Wednesday and hope that the pain will be minimal.
I am also going in for an upper GI test on Monday....mostly because of the cancer gene in my family and the fact the all the meds I have to take have really messed with me.  

Say a few prayers for my brother Brian - he is fighting stomach cancer and the chemo is really kicking him.

So that is what I have been doing...

I am healing

It has been 4 weeks since I left work.   I must say the rest/no stress has done wonders for me.

My neuropathy is almost gone with the wind.  I am loving it.   It does show me what stress does to you when you are trying to heal.  I really should have taken a long medical leave while I was doing chemo.     I think by working it took a toll on my health.     There are days when I  sleep 10 hours.   My body needs it.  I am lucky to be able to sleep with out drugs.     I can say I am healing.


I dont miss the work, but I do miss my Whit friends.  The Whitney I knew is gone, and I was very lucky to get the good package from Hancock so that  I can  heal and get my reconstruction.

Speaking of recon...it is not for sissys.  It has been painful I will not lie.   But what is pain, it is all relative when you think of what I have been thru this past year  
Tissue expanders feel like concrete blocks with hard edges.  When you move the edges dig into your muscle sending them into spasms. They give you meds for that, but really you dont need them.  I find it if do not over do it (lifting, bending, stretching) - that I dont need the meds. I love the results so far and that keeps me going, seeing the end in sight.

Allen has been home and it has been great to spend time together.  People ask me what have you been doing all this time.  It is hard to say, but shopping, cooking, reading,  and really just enjoying the small stuff that I never had time for while I was working.

It is a raining Saturday morning and I am enjoying a nice cup of coffee, no place to go or errands to run as I was able to do all those during the week.  Nice,

I know I will have to go back to work sooner or later - but it is nice to take the time to heal.

1 YEAR

One year ago today I heard the words - you have cancer ! I had to recreate myself on so many levels, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I have a new hair do, new body, and soon to be a new job ! A heartfelt thank you to all my family and friends who got me to were I stand today. ♥ I could not have done it with out you. You life can change in an instant ! Count your blessing every day !

There are to many people to thank personally - but thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I love you all.

I am healing well from the recon surgery and go in for my 2nd fill in another week,   What a journey it has been !

Recon Part FOUR

Well I got the drains out today, doc said I was healing well and to lay low for the next few days...so the drain holes can heal...then in two weeks I get another fill - whoo hoo ! I am on the way.  He said I was doing well...I do feel great except for a little tired.  BUT I am loving the results so far...and I am wearing a sports bra again and it looks good.........so will continue to keep you updated.

I have been cooking quite a bit since it is the one thing I can do right now.  Tonight is chicken penne with sundried tomatoes and portebello mushrooms....I will post the recipe if it turns out.

Gracie and Allen have been great about doing all the heavy duty stuff (vaccum and laundry etc) - so I think that helps with the healing to.

I have really enjoyed being home with both of them the last two week and I have been able to spend some qaulity time with both of them... The stress edge has been taken off.

My good friends at Whit have been calling and texting, that helps to and makes me feel good (and missed)

I got my hair cut and colored Saturday - that was a big pick me up and I am feeling good about the new look.  I am not blonde anymore...so it is taking some getting used to !  I will post a pic as soon as I get one.