Christmas and Cancer, and using the good China

I am grieving for my  mother and father this December.   I remember all the wonderful times I had at Christmas time with them, surrounded by family and food, knowing we were loved and taken care of.

There were always presents but I remember my family and the big dinners we had.  My mother always used the "Good China" and we always had a big tree.  We always went to Midnight Mass and had a few adult beverages.  I always wondered why my mother went to all that trouble of setting a nice table with linen table cloth and napkins, the good china and her precious green waterford crystal (that had to be hand washed). Just for us.    I think I know why now.  We were special to her and we were her gifts.

For some people, Christmas is one of the most emotionally fraught times of year, perhaps due to the presence or absence of people we love or depend on;  combined with all the social and financial expectations and pressures of the season.  I have been to ill to really get into the spirit and I am trying not to be dissappointed with certain people in my life.   I am going to focus on getting stronger and getting this illness behind me.   It will be just Gracie and I this Christmas Eve.    I have not been feeling well and   my treatments are catching up with me.  Gracie has to work but is getting off early.  She is going to bring us some treats from the swanky resteraunt where she works at.  We will toast Chrismtas and open our presents together.  It will be a special mother /daughter time and she will make me laugh with all her stories from work.   I am going to try extra hard to stay up later tonight so I can spend some time with her.

I really wish my hubby was home...it is very hard with out him home this year.   But I am looking forward to  sepending time with Gracie and skyping with Allen tonight when he gets off work.  If only I could Skype with my parents one time, what a gift that would be right ?

Take a few mintues to tell your family how much you love them this Christmas and really enjoy the time you have with them.   It is really not about the presents, food, drinks.  It is about the time together and celebrating the birth of a tiny baby boy in a manger so many years ago.

And yes Mama - Gracie and I will use the good china tonight !

Merry Christmas